I recently received a message from a young mum sharing about the hardship her family has been enduring with their 3-year-old son. For the past two years, he’s been in and out of the hospital with severe respiratory issues.

But here’s where it got even worse…

For these two years, her pastors have repeatedly “encouraged” her by telling her this is God teaching her and her family a lesson.

In other words: God is giving this sickness to this young boy and putting the entire family through heartache, financial strain, exhaustion from the constant travel to and from the hospital, and sleepless nights filled with worry—all just to teach them a lesson.

Does that sound like a good Father to you?

Few things boil my blood more than this.

Not only does this kind of message leave a family in pain and cause resentment between this mum and God, but it also paints a devastatingly false picture of who God is and His loving nature.

When I shared the truth with her, I watched her messages transform from hopelessness to hope. I’ve offered to visit in person to lay hands on her son and minister healing, and she kindly accepted. She’s getting back to me with a date.

But here’s the thing…

This belief—that God causes suffering to teach us lessons—is rampant in the Body. Maybe you don’t hold to it as strongly as these pastors do, but many Christians still believe, to some degree, that God is behind their suffering.

I want to challenge that view.

Before we dive in, I’ve already covered one major reason why I believe we embrace suffering as God’s will: confusion and mislabeling.

For example, we often call pain “discipline,” suffering “testing,” and view pruning as punishment. But God’s work in your life is not chaotic or cruel—it’s always purposeful and good.

If you haven’t read that blog yet, I recommend starting there first—it will give you a clearer understanding of what I’m sharing here.

Note: When I refer to suffering, I’m using it the way it’s commonly misunderstood today—as if all hardship is God’s doing.

In the New Testament, the suffering that is spoken of and that we are to endure specifically refers to persecution for the faith—not sickness, evil, or death.

Sadly, many Christians have wrongly intertwined the two and are suffering the consequences of that confusion.

Let’s clear up the distinction.

Why This Conversation Matters

Suffering is one of the hardest things to talk about, especially within the Christian community. It’s often presented as a necessary part of life, something that draws us closer to God, or worse, something God brings into our lives to teach us lessons.

We’ve all heard the sayings:

“God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers"

“This is your cross to bear.”

While these may be said with good intentions, they subtly suggest that suffering is not only inevitable but something God intentionally brings into our lives.

For many Christians, this has created a theology of suffering—one where hardship is viewed as a mark of faithfulness, and pain as proof of God’s work in our lives.

But what if this belief is not only untrue but also harmful?

The Negative Effects of Misunderstanding Suffering

When suffering becomes synonymous with spirituality, it distorts everything we know about God’s heart.

The belief that suffering is from God isn’t just wrong—it’s dangerous.

When we accept the idea that God intentionally inflicts pain upon us, we open the door to spiritual stagnation and emotional exhaustion. We begin to think that enduring pain is the goal, rather than pursuing healing and restoration.

This belief keeps us trapped, locked in cycles of unnecessary suffering, while the abundant life Jesus promised slips through our fingers.

By accepting suffering as God’s will, we:

• Become passive in the face of pain: Instead of seeking the healing and solutions God has for us, we resign ourselves to hardship, mistaking it for His will. We stop fighting for wholeness, and our faith becomes passive, not active.

• Live in constant fear and guilt: We start to feel guilty for wanting relief. We fear that asking for healing or deliverance somehow goes against God’s plan, believing we might be “fighting against His will.” This fear keeps us from living freely and fully.

• Misunderstand God's character: The more we embrace the lie that God causes suffering, the more we distort who He really is. We start to view Him as a cruel, unloving Father, punishing us for His own purposes, when in reality, He is good and His heart is to heal, restore, and bless us.

It's Time to Rethink Suffering

If we continue believing that suffering is God's design for us, we risk missing out on the full, vibrant life that God desires for us.

The truth is, suffering is not from God—and holding onto this belief will only keep us bound in pain.

God doesn’t delight in our suffering—He redeems it.

Suffering has become an idol in modern Christianity, largely due to the Martyr Complex—a psychological tendency where individuals derive a sense of worth, identity, or spiritual superiority from enduring hardship or pain.

This mindset distorts the gospel by equating suffering with holiness, as if the more we struggle, the closer we are to God. As a result, many Christians embrace unnecessary pain, reject God’s blessings, or feel guilty for experiencing joy, peace, or ease.

A healthier perspective recognizes that while God can redeem (not cause) suffering and make it work for our good, our identity and worth are found in Him—not in our struggles.

If God intentionally inflicted pain, as some claim, there would be no need for a devil. God would be both the punisher and the savior—a contradiction of His very nature.

Here’s the hard truth:

Suffering is not a tool God uses to teach His people. It’s the result of living in a fallen, broken world.

Imagine if I intentionally broke my 2-year-old’s arm to teach them a lesson. I’d be arrested for child abuse. Yet somehow, we believe that God does the same thing to us under the guise of "building character" or "teaching humility." When a parent harms their child in this way, we call it abuse. But when we attribute this kind of behavior to God, we somehow label it “higher ways” or “love”? Insanity.

This doesn’t align with the heart of the Father Jesus revealed—a Father who heals, restores, and loves without harm.

Understanding Why Suffering is NOT from God

1. Suffering is a Result of a Fallen World, Not God’s Will

The Bible tells us that the world we live in is broken due to sin (Romans 5:12). Suffering entered because of humanity's rebellion, not because God wanted to teach us something through pain. God doesn’t cause suffering—sin does. Whether it’s sickness, natural disasters, or emotional pain, these are consequences of a fallen creation, not God's design.

2. God’s Heart is for Healing, Not Harm

Throughout Scripture, God is presented as a healer, not a torturer. Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead, and delivered the oppressed. In John 10:10, Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." If sickness were God’s will, why would Jesus spend His time healing the sick? He came to restore what was lost.

3. If Sickness Were God’s Will, We Would Be Going Against His Plan by Seeking Medicine

Think about it: If sickness were God's will, why would we take medicine? Why would we pray for healing, if it's going against God’s will? Instead, pray that it does a full work of death in you! Do you hear how foolish that sounds when we stop and think about it?

4. Suffering Has Become an Idol in the Church

Suffering is often seen as a badge of honor in some Christian circles. We wear it like a crown of spirituality, but that’s not the fullness of what God wants for us. Jesus came to give us life abundant—not life that’s defined by endless suffering. Yes, the Bible calls us to "share in Christ's sufferings" (Phillipians 3:10) but let’s be clear on what those sufferings were: rejection, betrayal, persecution, and ultimately death. Never once did Jesus suffer sickness, poverty, or anything else we often attribute to suffering. His mission was to redeem us, not to show us a life of continual hardship.

5. Redemption, Not Endurance

God’s focus is not on endurance for suffering’s sake, but on redemption. He takes what was meant for harm and turns it into good. This doesn’t mean suffering is good—it means God is good even when suffering happens. God is a good Father. He desires to bring you into the fullness of His Kingdom, where there is healing, peace, and restoration.

How to Shift Your Perspective on Suffering

Now that we’ve unpacked the truth, here are some practical steps to apply this new perspective in your life:

1. Recognize the Source of Suffering

When you face suffering, ask yourself: Is this from God, or is this a result of the fallen world? This simple shift will help you separate God’s heart from the pain you're experiencing.

2. Seek Healing and Restoration

Instead of accepting suffering as God’s will, pursue wholeness. Whether it’s emotional, physical, or spiritual, believe that God wants you whole. Pray for healing, see a doctor, and trust that God can work through all avenues to bring you restoration.

3. Don’t Idolize Suffering

Refuse to wear suffering as a badge of honor. Life in Christ is meant to be full of joy, peace, and freedom – even in the midst of hardship. Keep seeking those things and don’t settle for pain as a sign of spiritual maturity.

4. Trust God’s Love

No matter what you face, remember that God’s love for you is constant and unchanging. His heart is always to protect, heal, and bless. When suffering comes, remind yourself that it’s not God's will, but He will be with you through it, providing strength and comfort.

5. Trust in Redemption

Instead of asking “Why is this happening?” ask “How can God use this for good?” Shift your focus from the cause to the solution.

The Freedom of Embracing the Truth

When you stop seeing suffering as a divine mandate and start recognizing it as a result of living in a broken world, your life changes. You no longer feel stuck in cycles of unnecessary pain. You begin to experience the healing and peace that Jesus offers, knowing that God’s ultimate will for you is good, not painful. You’ll have greater joy, less fear, and a deeper relationship with the loving Father who wants the best for you.

God is not the author of suffering—He’s the Redeemer of it. He is not your destroyer, He is your Deliverer. The God who weeps with you does not wound you.

The brokenness of this world may bring pain, but God’s heart is always for restoration and wholeness.

God is better than we think – our challenge is believing it.

Share this truth with someone who needs to be reminded of God’s unwavering love.

Want a better understanding on suffering, testing and trials in their proper context? Read my blog called: 10 Lies Keeping You Blind to God's Work (and how to see clearly!)